


Flares

by LLReid



Series: Reunited [3]
Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Apocalypse, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Vampire Queens, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 14:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22358143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LLReid/pseuds/LLReid
Summary: Kamilah teaches Anastasia to handle her new vampire abilities, but her emotions get the best of her.Fic inspired by ‘Flares’ by The Script.~~~~~She, who had come into her life like a hurricane in tiny human form, who had found them all and forged a place for herself amongst vampires. She hadn’t expected that she would arrange for everything to fall into place when she yielded her life, she hadn’t expected that she’d come so close to losing her, that Anastasia would come so close to giving up the promise of a thousand years to save them all. Kamilah knew she’d made the right choice, the wise choice, yet she truly hadn’t believed she would ever see her again...and even though she had her back, she couldn’t bring herself to accept all that had happened. She would not accept it. And she would not accept that she had found her, and they had survived such sorrow and pain and heartache together, only to come so close to being cleaved apart for good. She would not accept the fate that had been dealt to them, would not accept that Anastasia’s life had been the asking price for saving the world. For saving her or Adrian or Jax or Lily. She wouldn’t accept it for one heartbeat.
Relationships: Kamilah Sayeed/Anastasia Swann, Kamilah Sayeed/Main Character (Bloodbound)
Series: Reunited [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1608706
Kudos: 56





	Flares

‘As you wish’ was a phrase that Kamilah had rarely ever uttered until crossing paths with Anastasia. She wasn’t the type who’d ever been soft enough to truly care enough to let anyone around her have their way...yet since the twenty-two year old had come into her life, she had begun using the phrase so often that she’d lost count of all the times that she’d said it. It was more than a little shocking to realise that all the times that she’d said it, what she’d really been doing was professing her love, that she had been saying ‘I love you’ without actually saying it.

The ancient vampire’s eyes never left the pup at her side as they walked through the apocalyptic streets of New York beneath a dark and smoky sky. The city was almost completely deserted, save for a handful of vampires too stubborn to leave, ferals, and groups of mortals too stupid to do what was best for themselves. Yet as they walked together Kamilah held her girlfriend’s hand tightly in hers, terrified that she might lose her again if she had to let her go. 

Since Anastasia had returned to her she had suddenly felt the urge to kiss her — hard — upon the mouth at the most inconvenient times. But this — what she felt, it still baffled her that she was even capable of feeling it at all, as for the longest time she had thought that a love so strong and all encompassing could never be real. It’d been a pleasant surprise to find out that she’d been wrong, and there was a certain comfort in knowing that once the city had been rebuilt she would go back to running her company, and Anastasia would be right there beside her. For that night, though, she simply held her close, and everything around them transformed into mere shadows on the wall.

“I want you to focus,” Kamilah said as they wandered into Central Park. It seemed like the perfect place for her to begin teaching her to hone her new vampire abilities, given the lack of humans around for her to potentially attack in the thralls of her uncontrolled bloodlust and the fact that she could sense the beating hearts of animals that would be perfect for her to track. “There is a presence nearby, I want you to find it and lead us to it.”

Anastasia nodded and shifted her weight awkwardly between her feet. “Are you sure I can do this?”

“I know you can, but it doesn’t matter what I believe, all that matters is that you believe in yourself as I believe in you.” She leaned in and pressed a kiss between her eyebrows. “Even before I knew who and what you were, Anastasia, I knew that you were special, you are not most people, and I know you like it that way. Right from the start I knew what you had to offer the world...it was worth it.”

“What is?,” the small redhead asked.

“A world where people like us don't have to merely exist in the shadows. You gave me hope— hope that I had not lost my soul in the act of killing, hope that humanity could still be found, and honour could be regained.” She squeezed her hand, tightly. “You are powerful and capable and strong, alright? Don’t doubt it. Don’t fight it. Just close your eyes, focus, and do what I know you can. Prove to yourself that you’re as capable as I know you are.”

Anastasia seemed to steel herself with Kamilah’s words, taking them to heart. Adrian, Lily, and Jax had all offered to come along and help out, yet Kamilah had vehemently denied every one of their offers, not wanting to overwhelm her. She recalled how quickly she’d become frustrated as a child when her brother was attempting to teach her something new, how hopeless and stupid that she’d felt when she hadn’t picked up on something as immediately as she thought that she should have, so she was fearful that having an audience would only increase the chances of Anastasia feeling that way. Their friends meant well, they always did, but after losing her, Kamilah was far too protective of her to even risk her feeling any sadness at all.

As they walked through the park, she remained silent, periodically giving Anastasia’s hand a reassuring squeeze just to let her know that she was by her side. When the girl attempted to ask her questions in a bid to find out if she was nearing the presence they were tracking, she said nothing, she did nothing to give away the fact that she was doing almost better than she had initially expected her to. When she found Kamilah watching her, her face a mixture of pride and wonder and such open affection that Kamilah could tell she could see that not-too-far-off future where they'd find peace, see that future that awaited them, and that glimmer of hope promised happiness she'd never considered or dared yearn for.

Bodies were littered throughout the park and a few fires blazed amongst the charred greenery. It was like the world really had ended and hadn’t yet begun anew, and yet nothing had changed, either, not really. The sun would still rise and fall, the seasons would still change by rote, heedless of who was alive and who was gone. The world would keep moving on, the centuries would continue passing. Things would have to change, given that the majority of vampires who’d lived and worked in the city were either dead or missing. Yet it seemed right, somehow.

“It’s...it’s a bear!,” Anastasia gasped, excitedly, as their target came into view. “Oh, he must have escaped from the zoo! The poor thing, he must be so scared.”

Kamilah huffed. “I was going to suggest hunting it—“

“What?! No! We can’t kill it, Kami. He didn’t do anything to us,” the younger woman pouted. In hindsight, Kamilah knew she should’ve known better than to expect her lifelong vegetarian girlfriend to suddenly be alright with killing animals now that she was a vampire. It didn’t matter that she had killed vampires and had to drink human blood to survive, expecting her to kill an animal was obviously ridiculous.

“What if it killed all of those humans we passed by?”

“Even if he did, we have to take into account how scared he must be right now. He can’t understand what’s happening around him and after a life in captivity for people’s amusement, can you imagine how overwhelming it must be to suddenly have the whole of Central Park to roam around?” She sat down on the grass and watched with wide eyes as the bear grazed on the other side of the lake. “Let’s just watch him for a bit, okay? We’ll call him Sir Shaggybottom.”

“We’ll...we’ll call him what?,” she snorted.

“Sir Shaggybottom,” Anastasia said, seriously. “Now that he has a name and we’re the only two people in the world that know it, we can’t possibly hunt him.”

Kamilah rolled her eyes as she sat down on the grass at her side, biting back her laughter, and yielding her grace — her perfect stoic immortality that had taken more than two thousand years to cultivate. This woman was magic, as far as she was concerned. That mortal, human weight had well and truly vanished. Strength now coursed through her, coating her bones like armor. Invincible, immortal, unstoppable. Yet she was the same as she’d always been. It was odd, the city may have been burning and everything may have gone to hell, but sitting there at her side Kamilah realised that she had never truly understood how precious the calm moments were. How perfect they felt.

“As you wish,” she sighed. “We will watch him but I am warning you preemptively, we are not taking him home.”

“But wouldn’t that be so badass? Like, imagine us fighting back to back like we did when we killed Priya with our pet grizzly bear tearing holes through our enemies!”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Of course I have,” Anastasia beamed.

A smile spread across Kamilah’s face as she leaned in brushed her lips against hers. “You did well. Remind me tomorrow to tell you how charming a drunk you are.”

Anastasia let out a breath, and she leaned back to find her grinning, slowly shaking her head. “A drunk? Or a pragmatist?”

“Please enlighten me as to how doing vodka shots before your lessons was in any way pragmatic?,” she chuckled.

“I make all my best choices whilst a little bit drunk.”

Kamilah gaped at her. “That’s not— Alcohol doesn’t work that way.”

“It does when you’re so much of a dumbass without it that people often mistake your resting personality for drunkenness,” Anastasia shrugged. “Just trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

Kamilah smiled. “Do you though? Do you really?”

“I really do.” Anastasia beamed at her, her big blue eyes twinkling at her in the darkness. “You know, Kami, for someone with a heart of stone, yours is certainly soft these days.”

“That’s entirely your fault. You drove me mad.”

Kamilah’s throat bobbled as their lips met once more. Her kiss that time was deep and thorough, unhurried and intent. As Anastasia’s lips tumbled over hers she let the dawn creep inside her, let it grow with each movement of her lips and brush of her tongue against hers. Tears pricked beneath her closed eyes as she held her close, revelling in her presence. And although she didn’t say so out loud, it was one of the happiest moments of her whole life.

She took Anastasia’s hand and pressed it against her chest, holding it there. “I want you to focus on my heart beating now,” she whispered. “Find me. Listen. It’ll be the first step in teaching you how to differentiate the heartbeats of animals, mortals, and vampires.”

Anastasia nodded. Her eyes met Kamilah’s as she focused, and she touched her face, brushing aside the stray strands of ginger hair caught in the wind. She simply watched her, stated at the woman who meant everything — more than everything. Then she smiled with every last shred of courage, of devotion, of hope for the glimmer of that glorious future she planned on building with her. 

“I can’t—“

“Yes you can,” she whispered. “Deep breaths. Focus. You were made to do this. You died in order to save all those that you care for, that was the hard part. This, this is pure instinct. It’s part of your nature now.”

Anastasia’s brow furrowed and she blinked. “It is not such difficult a thing, though, is it — to die for your friends? Doing what I did was the easiest choice I’ve ever made...this feels much harder.”

Kamilah gulped and nodded her head. A wave of nausea hit her at what she’d just said, but she swallowed it down, she resisted the urge to snap at her like she’d snapped at everyone else who’d dared say exactly what she just had during the four days it’d taken for her turning to take hold. She didn’t want to think about how easy it had been for Anastasia to sacrifice herself, as when she did all she felt was grief. The grief that had drowned her when she’d believed that she would never again get to see that half smile. Never get to hear her golden laugh, never get to hear her say her name like it meant something special, something more than being her ever could. When she thought about it, she remembered how she’d locked herself away. How she hadn’t wanted to go out into a world where she didn't exist. So she had watched the light shift and change, and let the world pass by without her.

All she could think of was watching her receive that fatal stab wound. Of watching her take down Gaius Augustine, doing what thousands had tried and failed to do before her. No fear in her eyes — in her pretty, mortal face. None. 

In truth, Kamilah had not expected the fight to ever have come to that. She, who had come into her life like a hurricane in tiny human form, who had found them all and forged a place for herself amongst vampires. She hadn’t expected that she would arrange for everything to fall into place when she yielded her life, she hadn’t expected that she’d come so close to losing her, that Anastasia would come so close to giving up the promise of a thousand years to save them all. Kamilah knew she’d made the right choice, the wise choice, yet she truly hadn’t believed she would ever see her again...and even though she had her back, she couldn’t bring herself to accept all that had happened. She would not accept it. And she would not accept that she had found her, and they had survived such sorrow and pain and heartache together, only to come so close to being cleaved apart for good. She would not accept the fate that had been dealt to them, would not accept that Anastasia’s life had been the asking price for saving the world. For saving her or Adrian or Jax or Lily. She wouldn’t accept it for one heartbeat.

The fear of loss...was a dreadful thing. It could destroy anyone as much as the memory of past losses and the actual loss itself could.

“Are you alright? I can hear your heart beating now but it’s...it’s erratic,” Anastasia murmured. “Kami?”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not. Come here.” Without another word, both of her arms were around Kamilah’s shoulders and she was cradling her against her. She wanted to protest, wanted to insist that she was indeed perfectly fine, yet just when she was about to her entire body shuddered of its own accord and floods of tears poured down both of her cheeks.

After another moment of quietness, she asked, "Why did you do it? I know it was the only way, I know...but why was it so easy for you to die?”

“Either I died or you and everyone that I care about did. It wasn’t even a choice. It’s a gift and a curse to know things the way I do, I don’t even know if it had anything to do with being a Bloodkeeper or not, but I knew war — war was coming. And I knew that if I didn’t stop Gaius then you would not all have survived it. One life to save countless...it wasn’t even a choice, Kami. It was the only right thing.”

A choked sob racked through Kamilah’s body as she nuzzled her cheek against her shoulder. When she looked up, her face gleamed with tears. She went still as Anastasia leaned in, kissing away one tear. Then the other. As she had once kissed away her tears every time she had witnessed her crying. Once upon a time she would have stepped back, put distance between them. But instead, she found herself reaching for her, her hand twining itself through her hair as she held her tightly to her. Her heart was thundering so hard that she knew she would be able to hear it, that she could feel it.

Stubbornly, she shoved the feeling of needing desperately to compose herself down. With the silken texture of her stunning flame coloured hair against her fingers, it made her want to bury her face in it, and the smell of her, laced with mist and smoke and night, had her nuzzling her nose against her neck. There were other kinds of comfort that she could have given her more than mere words or closeness, if she were to ask for it, yet she shoved that thought down, too, swallowing it until she nearly choked on it. Being held was enough.

Anastasia’s fingers moved down her back, stroking over her aching muscles with a fierce kind of protectiveness. Kamilah knew that if she continued to touch her like that, her control was going to slip completely. When she pulled back, just far enough to look up at her again, still so close their breath mingled. She found herself gauging the distance between their lips, her dark eyes flicking between her mouth and her eyes, the hand she had entwined in her hair stilling. Love roared through her, burning down every defense she’d ever put up, erasing every line she’d convinced herself she had no choice but to maintain.

She breathed deeply, feeling safe and whole in Anastasia’s embrace. Being there with her, she felt like she was exactly where she’d been supposed to be all along. It was such a simple and intimate moment of loveliness. From a young woman who saved lives and a woman who’d ended them for millennia.

“We shouldn’t look back, Kami. We will always remember what happened but it’s best not to dwell on it. It helps no one and nothing to look back. We can only go on.”

“Lysimachus used to say those exact words to me whenever I got upset.” She gaped at her for a moment, genuinely awestruck. “And I always used to ask him, what if we only go on only to even more pain and despair? What if we go on, only to find a horrible end waiting for us?”

Anastasia stared at her long enough for warmth to flood her cheeks. She was looking at her as if she could see right through her, read every thought in her mind — as if she knew everything that there was to know about her. Nobody had ever looked at her so gently, nobody. The fact that she didn’t recoil in disgust from whatever it was that she saw inside of her made her heartbeat quicken once more, made her blood thrum quickly through her veins. She pressed a kiss on her forehead, and said, “Then its not the end.”

\- fin.


End file.
